EMBRACING THE SEASON OF SINGLENESS
This last year has been full of many lessons, full of ups and downs and open heart surgery. This past 12 months I have learned more about myself then I ever have. One of the longest and hardest lessons I have been in has been truly embracing my singleness. A venture that hasn't been easy for me and isn't for most as we want to find our partner. This weeks message is going to be a hopeful message of overcoming the insta culture and moving into embracing singleness as I share some of my story and process. If you haven’t already I would like to recommend reading a blog I wrote a couple weeks back on enjoying the seasons. This message was incredibly hard for me to write as it is so close to my heart. I almost talked myself out of it but I am pushing on for mine and your breakthrough.
I think a good place to begin is two years ago when I was living in San Diego. That year was an amazing adventure. I traveled a lot, explored a lot, and had an adventure partner through it all. We dated for around a year never having fights, problems, disagreements, or anything. The month of October was full of activities. We each had our birthdays and our one year anniversary. October being my birthday month and fall is one of my favorite months. I was pretty sure she was the one. We talked about getting married, traveling, and having a family. It was right around a week after my birthday after a long month of activities I could tell something was different. After a very pressing conversation it was over as she decided that we were heading in different directions in life.
Those next couple days and weeks were some of the toughest in my life. I was completely depressed, destroyed, and felt as though I was in a bad trip. We had lived together for around 6 months and worked at the same place, so everywhere in San Diego I went would just remind me of what once was.
Although this is the beginning of the story it was not the beginning nor end of my heart issue and my longing to fill a void that has been since way before. A heart issue that I have previously unintentionally filled with random hook ups, drugs, and many other things to dull my circumstances in the past. It was only within a couple months after our break up that I began to step back into the fullness of what the lord had for me. Equipped by a Christian organization to travel and sow into men around the world I was blessed. Circumstances were ever revolving and the missions was fluid but very intentional. As things changed so fast I was sent out on one of the best adventures with Jesus I had ever had to date. Although my heart was shot at as a stipulation for my mission was and odd relationship between me and females, as my “mentor” forbid me with any relationship of talk, text, or eye contact with the opposite sex. Talk about adding fuel to the fire of a heart that was already in the middle of being repaired. I will say although I understand the “heart” behind it I do not agree with the way of follow through as it created a need for surgery because of a surgery.
I hope you’re still following here as I know I have told you maybe more about me then you we’re ready but I swear it’s for a reason. You see I’m not sharing these story’s for sympathy rather to show my heart in the past has been torn through relationship, co-dependency, and miss guided friendships and to demonstrate when are hearts aren’t whole we find ways to fill the gap. This past 9 months here at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry one of my biggest redemption's has been in this area. Although it been with ups and downs, fails and victory’s I can truly say my heart is in one of the best places it has ever been when it comes to friendships and relationships. To be honest I have come to realize that in my past I totally would have sold myself short. I’ve given up myself to please others before in the past and been routed in codependency. Praise the lord this is in the past. A process fought on my own where I was just throwing open air punches but surrounded by leaders that cared about me intentional I have been able to see breakthrough.
Jason Vallotton came and spoke to bssm 1 toward the middle of the school year and really brought a lot of revelation in this area. We must recognize our needs and our friend spots. As we go through this it’s important that we recognize what needs we are trying to get met by individuals that well they don’t belong there. Relationships that our based on our own needs are rooted in codependency. Jason and team went on to express what was called the “God Spot” this is our spot where we cast our needs upon the lord but often we so easily send God out of this spot and let others move in. Maybe it’s a new relationship, a job, or just plan desires. We instead of keeping God at the center decide it’s better to replace our needs with instant gratification.
To simply put it our way out of codependency and a torn heart is to put God back in the God spot, identify our needs, and seek him first in all things. We must make sure no matter what the friendship or relationship that we are not using others to fulfill our needs that are meant for a deeper covenant relationship or are reserved for God alone. It’s a process but it’s one that is so important for our relationship with God and friends. Until we get to a point where we are comfortable to cast or needs upon the lord we will always have a void that we will try to fill whether it be with substance or circumstance.The sooner we can look to Christ when it comes to our needs and be happy with who we are individually the quicker our heart will heal and our voids will be filled. As a single man or woman I understand this is information that can be hard to take from a married mentor so I ask you take this advice from a single 28 year old that has had a life of heartbreak but has went through the road to recovery and is finally happy with who I am individually.
So today I come to you and express how much the father loves you and he is longing to have your whole heart with undivided attention. One that he can truly step into every void and love on you intentional in all your weakness. There is tremendous hope for all your circumstances and there is breakthrough that is attainable! In his face you will find your answers, your needs, and your cares. Seek first the kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you, in the name of Jesus be filled, Amen!
I think a good place to begin is two years ago when I was living in San Diego. That year was an amazing adventure. I traveled a lot, explored a lot, and had an adventure partner through it all. We dated for around a year never having fights, problems, disagreements, or anything. The month of October was full of activities. We each had our birthdays and our one year anniversary. October being my birthday month and fall is one of my favorite months. I was pretty sure she was the one. We talked about getting married, traveling, and having a family. It was right around a week after my birthday after a long month of activities I could tell something was different. After a very pressing conversation it was over as she decided that we were heading in different directions in life.
Those next couple days and weeks were some of the toughest in my life. I was completely depressed, destroyed, and felt as though I was in a bad trip. We had lived together for around 6 months and worked at the same place, so everywhere in San Diego I went would just remind me of what once was.
Although this is the beginning of the story it was not the beginning nor end of my heart issue and my longing to fill a void that has been since way before. A heart issue that I have previously unintentionally filled with random hook ups, drugs, and many other things to dull my circumstances in the past. It was only within a couple months after our break up that I began to step back into the fullness of what the lord had for me. Equipped by a Christian organization to travel and sow into men around the world I was blessed. Circumstances were ever revolving and the missions was fluid but very intentional. As things changed so fast I was sent out on one of the best adventures with Jesus I had ever had to date. Although my heart was shot at as a stipulation for my mission was and odd relationship between me and females, as my “mentor” forbid me with any relationship of talk, text, or eye contact with the opposite sex. Talk about adding fuel to the fire of a heart that was already in the middle of being repaired. I will say although I understand the “heart” behind it I do not agree with the way of follow through as it created a need for surgery because of a surgery.
I hope you’re still following here as I know I have told you maybe more about me then you we’re ready but I swear it’s for a reason. You see I’m not sharing these story’s for sympathy rather to show my heart in the past has been torn through relationship, co-dependency, and miss guided friendships and to demonstrate when are hearts aren’t whole we find ways to fill the gap. This past 9 months here at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry one of my biggest redemption's has been in this area. Although it been with ups and downs, fails and victory’s I can truly say my heart is in one of the best places it has ever been when it comes to friendships and relationships. To be honest I have come to realize that in my past I totally would have sold myself short. I’ve given up myself to please others before in the past and been routed in codependency. Praise the lord this is in the past. A process fought on my own where I was just throwing open air punches but surrounded by leaders that cared about me intentional I have been able to see breakthrough.
Jason Vallotton came and spoke to bssm 1 toward the middle of the school year and really brought a lot of revelation in this area. We must recognize our needs and our friend spots. As we go through this it’s important that we recognize what needs we are trying to get met by individuals that well they don’t belong there. Relationships that our based on our own needs are rooted in codependency. Jason and team went on to express what was called the “God Spot” this is our spot where we cast our needs upon the lord but often we so easily send God out of this spot and let others move in. Maybe it’s a new relationship, a job, or just plan desires. We instead of keeping God at the center decide it’s better to replace our needs with instant gratification.
To simply put it our way out of codependency and a torn heart is to put God back in the God spot, identify our needs, and seek him first in all things. We must make sure no matter what the friendship or relationship that we are not using others to fulfill our needs that are meant for a deeper covenant relationship or are reserved for God alone. It’s a process but it’s one that is so important for our relationship with God and friends. Until we get to a point where we are comfortable to cast or needs upon the lord we will always have a void that we will try to fill whether it be with substance or circumstance.The sooner we can look to Christ when it comes to our needs and be happy with who we are individually the quicker our heart will heal and our voids will be filled. As a single man or woman I understand this is information that can be hard to take from a married mentor so I ask you take this advice from a single 28 year old that has had a life of heartbreak but has went through the road to recovery and is finally happy with who I am individually.
So today I come to you and express how much the father loves you and he is longing to have your whole heart with undivided attention. One that he can truly step into every void and love on you intentional in all your weakness. There is tremendous hope for all your circumstances and there is breakthrough that is attainable! In his face you will find your answers, your needs, and your cares. Seek first the kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you, in the name of Jesus be filled, Amen!
Comments
Post a Comment